There really is a world outside of your head
59When I opened this account I hadn't intended to go here, but after a day of having to get around in large groups of people for the first time since my motorcycle accident, I felt moved to speak out. Here's my abridged background. Two months ago I fractured my leg in a motorcycle accident. It was bad...four days in the hospital, surgery, ten screws and a titanium plate, and legitimate handicapped tags for cars that I can't yet drive. This was two full months ago...It wasn't terrible, I will walk again soon, and I will be back to nearly 100% eventually.
During the past two months I've been struck by the number of inconsiderate people that I've run in to. In halls people will not get out of your way. Getting off of elevators people will try to push on rather than allow you to get off first. 9 out of 10 people will not even make an attempt at holding the door for you. This was brought to mind once again today when in the first instance a woman, a stranger, held the door for me, but two men pushed through, and I blocked out a third and forced him out of my way. At six feet tall and 210 pounds sometimes I can get away with that even on crutches. In the second instance a little bit later, my mother in law was holding the door for me, an exit door, and a man tried to push past me to enter the exit door...again, I'm not a small guy and for some people I'm to big to push out of the way even if I'm on crutches. This kind of thing is not new. Believe it or not this isn't even unusual. The average person will not notice a disabled person and will simply push past or shove in front of a disabled person, if it's possible, rather than show simple common courtesy. This is not just me. Do a search on the experiences of temporarily disabled people, and you'll hear much the same thing. I can't even imagine what it must be like for those who are in this state permanently. So, I've had a little rant. You must be wondering about my point. Well, here it is. I have two target audiences. The first, and more important, is that group of people who for what ever reason has recently found themselves newly disabled. To you I want to say I'm sorry, but I'm not going to pull any punches. You'll find that many people you run in to are oblivious to your situation. Watch out for yourself, be willing to depend on those close to you, and be grateful when a stranger does show you an act of kindness. You're in for a period of very difficult time. You will hurt, you will be frustrated, you will, from time to time, feel like you have absolutely no control over your life. The little things that people do for you will mean a great deal, so use those to help keep your spirits up and stay positive. Now, for the second target audience. You're the inconsiderate ones. Nobody is asking for special treatment, nobody is asking for your sympathy; nobody even wants your friendship...your friendship and a buck fifty is worth about a buck fifty... All anyone would ask of you is to pull your head out of your ass, be aware of things going on around you, and show nothing more than a bit of common courtesy. Oh, one more thing. Most of us will be getting better, and more than a few of us have very bad tempers.CommentsLoading...
I could see driving as a source. It's a way to create a complete isolation while completely surrounded. People somehow become unreal, and then when we get out of that cage in go the ear buds plugged in to the iPod, and we peer through sunglasses out of our own little soundbooths. I have to admit that there were some very helpful people around when I went down. Complete strangers carried me in to a warm store front while I waited for my wife to get me to the hospital, the store owner, a biker himself, stashed my bike in his warehouse until I could get it towed home to avoid any issues with police. There are some good people out there, but it's just a bit disturbing that it's so suprising when the good ones show up.
In any case, your husband is right. None of us want to believe that until we become part of the "already crashed" gang :).
So far I haven't had the chance to go through a metal detector, so I don't know yet. I do know that magnets don't stick to my shin, which would be really cool...On the bright side I'm back to real live walking, even if it is with a substantial limp which is getting less by the day, and I'm thinking that I may actually be riding again before the summer is out.
So glad you're doing better. Is the bike still rideable? Not crashed? That would be excellent. It must be bad enough, going through the busted leg routine without, as you put it, the hassle with the authorities.
Every time my husband and I discuss high gas prices and I start talking motorcycle for economy reasons, he changes the subject. Guess he just knows me too well.
Good point about the little sound booth. I suppose those of us who don't listen to music 24/7 are becoming the minority. I must admit, I prefer the little sound booth to people sharing their music with the immediate vicinity, especially as it's always something I don't like!
In some ways, I suppose we could add the Internet to the people-distancing effects. Besides social networking areas, such as HubPages and so on, the web can be a very lonely and impersonal place. And even here, you have to work for interaction. I've been a member now for (I think) a week, and this is the first real conversation I've had with anyone.
The bike is still ridable. There was some damage, mostly cosmetic, and except for some minor damage on the tank, it has been repaired. I'm hoping to have it completely done and back home soon if the shop can just get the work done.
Funny thing about the economy side of things. I ride a suzuki boulevard c50 (800cc engine) that gets me around 50 to 55 mpg, or so, but there's a crazy trend of going bigger and bigger with these things. The custom choppers and Harleys are putting in engines so big that they are edging in on the gas mileage that I get out of my saturn. It's just crazy. Oh well, if I felt I could afford to drop 20k to 30k on a bike I'd either have a Harley in the garage, or my deposit on one of the new Indian's that are supposed to be coming out in 2009.
I'm totally hooked on my iPod. I don't go anywhere without it, but at the very least, if I'm out and about in public I keep my ears free. It's just too hard to function in public with that thing blasting in my head.
Really, the Internet is kind of a weird place. I've got a couple of newsgroups that I frequent, but it's extremely rare that any kind of real conversation comes up. For the most part I see threads of people sharing information in sort of a one-way post, or people making smart-ass comments. Not to mention that a good number of the people you meet aren't who they say they are. I guess there's an upside to that. You get to go out, interact with people, and still stay anonymous. I haven't actually been over to the forums here yet, but I assume it's really pretty much the same.
CherylTheWriter 4 years ago
I really must agree with the manners bit. Common courtesy has become rather uncommon, and I find that sad. Is it possible it all started with driving--with people becoming more self-centered within their little metal world, so that they forgot those were real people in other little metal worlds? And such rudeness simply bled over from driving habits to other not-so-interpersonal relationships?
My husband is an old biker, with the scar across his pate to prove it. He says there's only two types of bikers: those who have crashed and those who are going to.
Glad you're all in one piece, even with additional hardware. Just out of morbid curiosity, do you set off metal detectors?